Hopeless Romantic in Jesus

Gosh, I'm such a hopeless romantic when it comes to the Lord. I read in Revelation about the wedding feast and I get excited! I think about a long table with so much food and the church, the Bride of Christ.
It's a bit odd (about to share something extremely personal here!) but when I was 16 years old, I asked the Lord Jesus to marry me. I got so tired of all the guys at school with their shallow, perverted ways. I didn't want to get distracted whatsoever or let my heart wander from Him, so I said, "Lord, I know this is weird...but I really want to ask you something. Will you marry me? I don't want to fall for any of those guys at school and I love you! You fulfill me and You're stronger than any of them! You are always there for me and You never seek my hurt. You care about me and won't throw me away. So...?"

The Lord answered my prayer and kept me for Himself. I've never had a boyfriend (oh thank you, God! I'm grateful to You for sparing me the drama, I would have definitely caused.) and most of the guys didn't pay attention to me. The ones who did, I gently (well except for one, but that's because he was flirt) told them no. I wanted to focus on the Lord...

Afterwards, people began to bug me about marriage. Hmmm...No? My church was good they didn't bother me, but people at work would push the issue and I would have to tell them I was waiting on God. I would come home and think,"There is no one for me. I'm okay with that, Lord! You have whoever You want for me. I don't think it'll be soon...but I have You." :)

There was one door later,however I thought the Lord was opening for me. I watched it with hesitation and caution.But it didn't work and I'm glad. God knows who is for me so I really shouldn't complain. Nothing was wrong with this opportunity but God worked it so that it wouldn't happen. Instead, He taught me the kind of person I should be looking for (and I don't mean I search the poor fellow out! I mean what kind of standards I should set. Example: Strong Christian fellow, Loves the Lord..those standards) and He showed me my own heart. He showed me what kind of person I should be. For example, quit punching. I shocked a guy at work by playfully punching him on the arm. He was so shocked (such a gentleman) that he looked at me with a wide-eyed expression.
"Did you just punch me?"
"Uh, yeah! Come on, it didn't hurt!" (It's true! I KNOW it didn't hurt!)
He just looked at me quizzically and we went back to shopping. (Why we were shopping escapes me...)
There was nothing wrong with punching but when it comes to a brother in the Lord...well hello that's not very Christian. I didn't realize that I had offended (unknowingly) my good friend. He forgave me (exhibiting very Christ-like behavior, unlike me) God was showing me through this refinement of my Christian brother, ACT LIKE A GIRL! Meaning don't punch, quit teasing the poor guy of his lack of knowledge in cameras (oh sorry. I was like an older sister to him). "But I am acting like a girl! I asked which purse I should get!" (go ahead, insert frown here. This poor guy helped me by stating I bought one last week and it was fine) "No, Maria. Listen to him and encourage him. Ask him about his day."
"You want me to wha-? Only girlfriends do that!"
"No, sisters do."
Thus began a relationship in which I was taught how to act. And...I fell. Hard. Praise the Lord, God took me out (even though it was difficult). This fellow became a very good friend and unbeknowest to me at the time, started to like me. But I noticed later and there I presented it to God. "Your will be done, Father. He's been such a good friend and brother. You've shown me the kind of person I should wait for. I will always love You and You will always be my One True Love. Even it hurts, help me to take it."
So He took me away from my first crush and I was hurt. But now, I can say it was GOOD and RIGHT. I thank Him, because even though my friend was great, we just weren't meant at all for each other. God had him for other things that didn't include me and I am grateful.
Now though, I find myself more in love with Jesus. From time to time, there's been interests but no one has caught me again like my former friend. The reasons are: 1.) I have Jesus to love. 2.) I'm alot more careful. I don't let just anybody in.
So there you have it. My first love, Jesus and the story of my first crush.