So that title is so grammatically off. Oh well, who cares? :) If you've been following me for quite some time you will notice I am NEVER grammatically correct...well I try but I can't spell-check everything especially on words I make up. hehe.
Today marks the day we left Okinawa 2 years ago. Its an amazing story of God and how faithful He was (and still is) on our trip back to the States. I encourage you to read from my old blog this post. I thought about copying the whole thing and pasting it here but I don't want to dwell on my departure from Okinawa anymore. While our arrival back to the States was a wonderful testimony of God's goodness, I would like to instead focus on His continued faithfulness here in Washington. I don't know if it was obvious, but in case you didn't know I despised being here. I HATED Washington...to be honest I wasn't the most pleasant person to be around. After travelling the West half of the States, looking for a home, I was ready to go back to Okinawa! So imagine my disappointment settling here, a place I have never seen, amongst people I didn't know and with the most uncertain circumstances! My dad had no job waiting for him after he retired, we had no house to call our own and we were beginning to feel the lack of fellowship that we had treasured back in Okinawa. So what did we do? We settled in a hotel for a month. My dad got a job at a gas station, and the rest of us? We had only one car for the entire family and that was my dad's work car. We were stuck. I find that time to be the most stretching time. I had to be patient and rely on God for His strength. It was so hard.
While we were there my sister and I woud put together my dad's resume for a possible job anywhere. He could have done it, but seeing that his job hours were sporadic, he relied on us to help him and we did because we wanted our situation improved as much as he did. We sent that resume to different places one of them being California. He was requested for an interview over the phone so that meant we couldn't start looking for a home here in Washington just yet because he didn't want to commit himself and then pack up and leave should he get the job. Evidentally, he didn't get the job (after waiting forever for that phone call) and he then began to pursue living here. Up to this point, I had been hoping we would leave so you can imagine I was pretty upset. But that was our only option.
We moved into an apartment based on where my little sister could go to school. We had reviewed the schools online and once we found one we liked, we searched out apartments in the area. That was also hard (there were few that were big enough for our family). So we found one, and I felt that to be such a good day! Finally, no more sharing one room with four other people! Two FULL bathrooms! We were content.And BLESSED.Then when Cassandra started school, we hit an obstacle. She had grown up overseas so this environment was a shock! An extreme shock! She was taken out and my mom encouraged home-schooling. My dad was not too fond of the idea, but we found this amazing online school called Calvary Online School. The school is amazing at what they do and I am so glad my fam found this for my little sister.
Then another obstacle...we had been working extremely hard on my dad's resume but for some reason or another, he wasn't getting the jobs we were submitting them to. This was a nerve-racking time for me, my twin and my dad. I was the most emotional of the three. Every time my dad's resume was rejected, he would ask us to re-write it. I hated it because I was already feeling the effects of loneliness, being at home with no car to take us anywhere, and with my little sister's culture shock. My mom was carrying a huge load already (trying to keep us from fighting each other, for example). I was pretty frustrated because with every rejection my dad's spirits were low and he would push me and my sister to try harder on wording, content and the such. He couldn't supervise us doing his resume because as I said before, he wasn't able to due to his job. I felt all dried up. I felt like a failure every time he was rejected. I prayed all the time concerning this and I would cry out in tears asking God to fix this by moving us back to Oki! I believed going back to Okinawa was the solution when in reality my answer lay in God. One day, after being rejected again, I found a job for my dad. I had been searching the internet and there it was. He could do it. I knew he could so I went ahead, told my dad, polished up the resume some more and submitted it.
A month later, he got the job.
I was so glad and I really felt God's hand upon it. It was totally the Lord but as I reflect on this, I remember being too tired to even care. I was disappointed in God for taking so long. FOOLISH ME!!! I should have know everything works all in God's timing! What right did I have to be angry at Him? My attitude was an attitude insisting, "God, I knew better. You should have done it my way." But God is so good and He continued to draw me into His loving arms. I was angry and bitter for the longest time. Yes, I loved God and I trusted Him (sometimes) but I was angry. I felt that He had forgotten us and just wanted us to be "refined". And part of that is true. He wanted me, Maria, to be refined. I had grown dependent on my love for Okinawa, I was turning to friends than to Him. Even in the last few months on that beautiful island, my attention was focused elsewhere and not on Him. I see it now.
Before I left, I was in my heart making plans. They were good plans and I thought I had it figured out. But these plans were not what God intended. My heart was broken and I had to reach out to Him and give Him my plans and desires. He was and is molding me. I had to let go of certain people...so that He could work. These plans were the one last strand holding me to Okinawa. Until February of this year...then I knew my plans were forever gone. That strand was cut and I am happy it was. :) It would have hurt earlier but surprisingly so, it didn't. God had worked in me throughout the year (slowly moving my heart from Okinawa...) that when the plan was cut, my heart was ready. God is good.
I am currently in the process of drawing closer to God and this time making Him my ultimate true Love...God is good.
Have a Sweet Sunday!!!
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