Sweet Sundayyyyy

I wasn't going to post anything since it was the weekend and everything...but I can't help myself. :)

Its Sunday...woke up early to let the furball out to play...went to church and came home. I'm editing (as usual) and I'm just loving the way the light is hitting into the dining room right now. My mom has a Bible teaching playing off her Ipod right now and the rest of the fam? I'm not quite sure what they are doing. Its a good day.

I've been doing a lot of thinking this week and I'm just so tired...I'm not quite sure what to do during this season...During service today I read this verse (we are going through the book of Proverbs):

Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad.
-Proverbs 12:25

I think I finally have pin-pointed what is causing me to be discouraged. Anxiety. If you were to talk to my fam they would tell you straight out I can be dramatic. I'm not too fond of this characteristic and I wish I was a little more less dramatic but hey! I'm a work in progress. I tend to get nervous easily. Oh, one might not be able to see me anxious...I try to hide it..but when my family sees it they know and when they call me out on it...then I am dramatic. I've just been so worried that I'm not living up to being the Christian I am supposed to be. That I'm not talking enough, that I'm not doing anything for the Lord...*sigh* . I don't know why I don't talk! I'm not shy at all, trust me. I love to laugh and play jokes on people (hehe.). I'm just not TALKATIVE since I came back to the States. Oh somebody kick me. I guess I'm feeling convicted for not reaching out? I don't like talking to people I don't know! Not because I don't like people, but I guess I'm fearful of rejection, (again I question myself: WHY DO I HAVE BLOG???) but trust me I love to talk and listen. I know I give the impression I don't but that isn't true. I'm anxious for the following reasons:

1. I want to be a photographer but it aint happening...(random I know)
2. I talk and I worry I'll offend someone (I'm a bit sarcastic...I don't intend to offend. But I do.)
3. Before coming back to the States, I had "friends" who just turned against me. Sometimes it still bothers me...You'd think I'd get over it...but its one of the things holding me back
4. I hate my laugh. Think toucan. Thats how I sound like when I laugh and SING. UGH!
5. My future. I'm anxious about the future.
6.And finally the biggest...I'm anxious I'm not doing what the Lord wants me to do.

Why do I post all this?
Because while I am going through this season I know there are others who are also anxious. Maybe not like me but I know you are out there. See, like the verse says, "Anxiety in the heart causes depression." (MIV, Maria's International Version <<<<thats a joke, right there.) don't forget the last part, " But a good word makes it GLAD."

This week I've been diving into the Word because I can feel anxiety creeping up and threatening to darken my days. And I need the Word, God's Word to lift me up. I've read so much verses about the strength of the Lord and its really helped me so much! I love it! He's promised to give strength and to uphold us with His hand! (Isaiah 41:9-10...my life verse). I need His Word every.single.day. I need Him. Thank You Lord for who You are! Thank You for sticking with me because I know I am annoying and I wouldn't blame You if You left me. I'm so grateful You haven't even when I've left You. I love You and I need You. Help me to get up and to do Your will. Don't let the enemy's lies drag at me anymore. Give me strength. Love your daughter, Maria