Wake up, beloved!

My beloved spoke, and said to me:
“Rise up, my love, my fair one,
And come away.
¹¹ For lo, the winter is past,
The rain is over and gone.
¹² The flowers appear on the earth;
The time of singing has come,
And the voice of the turtledove
Is heard in our land.
¹³ The fig tree puts forth her green figs,
And the vines with the tender grapes
Give a good smell.
Rise up, my love, my fair one,
And come away!

¹⁴ “O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,
In the secret places of the cliff,
Let me see your face,
Let me hear your voice;
For your voice is sweet,
And your face is lovely.”

- Song of Solomon 2:10-14

 

Oh-kay...whenever I hear the word, "beloved", I get a flashback of Pastor J.Vernon McGee and the sweet accent he had. "Dearly beloved.." his voice would gently admonish through the radio, resonating truth. I loved listening to him...He's the only person I would ever hear where the word, "beloved" just sounded natural coming from him.

So what exactly am I writing about? Well on Sunday, I got up at 4:30-ish in the morning. No reason really except the rabbits were making noise in their cages. But the funny thing is, I wasn't tired. I just woke up like it was a nap or something. I went to sleep at 1 so I was pretty surprised. I contemplated getting ready for church...but that was 4-5 hours away.

Then I thought, "Well, it's a bit rare I wake up like this...feeling not really sleepy. Maybe I should read my Bible." I don't really do that, wake up at the crack of dawn to read my Bible so I thought, why not? I remember listening to a sermon by Pastor Chuck Smith (or was it Steve Mays?) and how they loved waking up and spending time with the Lord. I wanted that.

The house was quiet and I flipped open my Bible. I read Song of Solomon 2:10-14 and it fit exactly what I've been stressing over in the previous hours.

I've read Song of Solomon before, and to be honest, I don't hang around that book very much. It sounds like something between a groom and bride so I have no idea how the book could ever apply to me. But that morning, it was the voice of another Groom. The voice of my Lord telling me to rise up and to come away.

What? 

It was a so sweet, reminding me to rise up from my troubles, my winter because spring was here. The flowers are blooming, get up! Smell the air!

"God, no, the winter is NOT over. Look around. There is no way our situation is going to change. What can be done?" I remember thinking.

But the message was the same. Get up and come away with Me. The winter is over.

I began to pray over every problem that has occurred since really...the beginning of the year. It just doesn't look promising. Nothing does. But as if I was in a meadow, spring began to bloom and His gentle laughing voice floated...

Come with Me.

Surely my Lord has something planned. I want to believe but I CAN'T. A part of me says, "Okay, let's do this!" and another holds back, hesitating. It's just too good to be true. After these last few months, I've been frustrated because I can't change the circumstances. I want things to be different, I want the worry to be gone, I want to be free from the anxieties that loom over my head. I've lost my patience and to be honest sometimes, that's why I want to be back in Okinawa. I felt so secure in that island. I had the freedom to be independent, and I didn't have the worries I have here. Here, I feel bound and stuck sometimes. This was not how I pictured it.

And God is going to change it?  *sigh*

.

For those of you who don't know, I can't stand winter. I hate the deadness of trees, the cold, and the lack of color. Coming from a tropical island where the weather was constantly warm, flowers bloomed all the time it felt like, and a flurry of activity. But I do like the spring here. Oh, I love it here...I can almost feel completely happy when it's spring here. My mom warns me of bugs but laying on the grass is so... insert long sighhhhhhhh. So when I read, in Song of Solomon of spring coming, my ears perk just a little. Is it possible that winter, not the seasonal one but my personal winter will go away? Seasons don't last forever...maybe this one will end?

 

Last year, at this exact month, I had a winter of loneliness. Being the social girl I can be I couldn't stand it.

However, I'm so blessed with the friends I have here. He changed the loneliness from last year...I remember praying and crying out in loneliness, pleading "God if you could even give me ONE friend, that's all I ask. I know You're all I need, but I'm so lonely. I NEED a friend. I'm so heartbroken and I want to forget Okinawa. Please give me a friend to help me forget." He's blessed me with friends and sometimes I felt my attachment to Okinawa loosen. I have more than enough friends and I don't take any of them for granted. God answered my prayer.

Will He answer this prayer? As He invites me to partake in His Creation, His Spring, will I be free from my winter? He's so good in extending His loving Hand towards me...I'm just afraid to get disappointed.

But I'm going to take it. I'm going to enjoy His Spring...because He's offering it. Surely it is good. He answered my winter prayers before! Why not trust Him?

 

“I will betroth you to Me forever;
Yes, I will betroth you to Me
In righteousness and justice,
In lovingkindness and mercy;
 I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness,
And you shall know the Lord.

-Hosea 2:19-20

...another beautiful verse I meditated on Sunday Morning. God calls me His.