Oh wow! It's been almost a month since I did a Sweet Sunday! Where have I been? Well as you read in my last post, I've been trying to ignore the internet. Key word is trying. Have I been successful ignoring the internet?...Sort of.. But let's not go there. Let's talk about Sunday, my favorite day of the week.
We started the morning off well...I woke up, got ready, had my coffee (which by the way, I'm also trying to limit because I drink too much of that caffeine) and we went to church. I have alot in my heart and head that I've been trying to sort through. I'm praying about certain things hoping that it'll work out. During worship, I reflected on the words we sang as a church. Alot of them were about surrendering to Jesus and Jesus being our all in all. And waiting...waiting. I'm the most impatient person you will ever meet. When I watch a movie, I want it to be over because I don't like suspense. I want to know the ending NOW (I'm not the best person to watch a movie with). I read books in 1-2 days because I want to get to the ending and know what happened.
I've brought something up to the Lord yesterday. Of course, being the most impatient child of God I can be, I wanted an answer today. So I've been praying...I wondered a bit about it last month...decided if it was God's will, for sure He'll work it out. And so I prayed something along the lines if "You could work it out...great! If not, please make it go away and help me to let it go." I was actually hoping it would go away...until my prayer got answered. Then I was stunned...and left all shaky. Like it was there...but I didn't know what to do! So I did the best thing I knew how.
I ignored it and hoped for the best.
And another oppurtunity occured.
I ignored it and hoped for the best. AGAIN.
So, finally last night I poured it out to Him, letting God know everything and why I wasn't going to after this oppurtunity. Because the last time I stepped out, it hurt.
I asked Him to please work through it and to give me another chance without me going after it. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? Am I allowed to pray that? And today...I heard those songs. And God showing me to trust Him and to give it to Him. How do I give this to Him? I'm scared to go step out...and I've given it to Him.
The oppurtunity was gone today.
I feel bad to have missed it. Or did I miss it? But if it's God's will won't He make it work? I'm such a confused chica right now. Let me know what you think.
Thanks!
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