Hold your tongue

Immediately as the words left my mouth, I realized I had crossed the line. They said something back and I knew I deserved it. Pride welled up, threatening to retaliate but my reasoning, You provoked them! Don't you dare! kicked in. I only smiled and nodded, ending it right there. But the guilt was there. How many times have I ended friendships and relationships because of my sarcastic tongue? How many people have I brought down because I couldn't shut up? COUNTLESS TIMES.

But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison
-James 3:8

I know that to be true. Trust me, I've tried to be quiet and peaceful on my own efforts and they proved futile. This is a characteristic I despise about myself. My words have hurt others and have caused them to turn away...

I remember one sermon which addressed my problem...I don't know who but the pastor said that insteading of bringing people down, encourage them instead! You see, I needed to give up being so mean, cutting and sarcastic...and for some time I did. But it would come back whenever I was angry or provoked. So the weight of these words came...instead of just giving up my wicked tongue, why don't I replace it with psalms, praises, and God's Word? In a specific way, why don't I give my mouth to God so He may use it for His glory? How about God using my mouth to encourage those who are hurting, struggling, seeking God?

Hmmm...that was kind of hard, Lord.

I wanted to be mean because it was a way to protect myself (an outright lie, yall. Being mean only leads to isolation and bitterness). And yes, I did use profanity countless times. :/

Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.
-James 3:10

This verse convicted me during at the time. And I realized I needed to do something about it and my words needed to change. If I wanted to live a life for Christ I had to change my mouth. So I went to the Lord and asked him to change me, my words and the profanity which enslaved me would no longer be a part of my life. He did change me...I had to start from scratch in a new place, a new HIGH school. It was training grounds for me and I'm glad, I was learning through Him. I was surrounded with people who demonstrated the love believers were suppposed to have when interacting with others.

...but be filled with the Spirit,speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord,
Ephesians 5:18-19

I saw this firsthand. And I hope and continue to hope God would change my mouth. I still need to be changed.