Musings

I'm sick. AGAIN. Twice in the last few months...sheesh my immune system isn't as strong as it used to be. But this time...it's kinda good. I'm feeling really peaceful and relaxed. Maybe it's a good thing being sick once in awhile. I'm not feeling stressed out or anything! Love it.
 I went outside today to check out some of the flowers we have. I found myself drawn to my bougainvillea. Beautiful plant. I watched it and today there was a nice gentle wind...during these moments I remember Okinawa. So here I am feeling rather relaxed, enjoying the wind, and what used to bring me some sadness instead I remembered with fondness. I know, I know, I talk about Oki wayyyyy too much on this blog. I am always talking about God, Okinawa and photography. Of course, let me just point out that I love God more than anything so please don't think they are in the same category. My love for God is not a hobby...and it differs drastically for my love for Oki. I could never live without God. Photography and Okinawa, I can live without. There.
But as I got to thinking (I think way too deep sometimes) I wondered which of the two I would willingly give up. Would I give up Okinawa or photography?  If God were to say, "All right. Let's get some things out of your life, including events...hmm...lets have you choose between Okinawa and photography." I don't believe He would say that. Let's keep in mind that I have a cold right now so I tend to think randomly when I'm sick. Okay let's get back to the question. Which one would I give up? It's kinda like a math question huh? Because I was brought to Okinawa, I gained a deeper understanding of God and my relationship with Him flourished greatly. The church we attended was a huge blessing in my life. Many times, the pastor shared his vision for the church there. He felt that CCoki was like a hospital letting people in and then when it came time to move or leave they were ready because they were taken care of. I feel this to be true in my life. CCoki was the hospital I needed. I didn't know it then but I surely know now. I was being healed from my anger, my hurts, my insecurities and I gained a better view of who God is. God used that church to minister to me through the leaders there...I came with questions on life (though not often) and many times I was going through something tough there was always someone ready to pray for me and encourage me in the Lord. So I don't think I could give up Okinawa. Photography? Well because I was in Okinawa, I learned to love God's creation. And I felt that the best way I could capture it was through photography. I look back in my photos of the beautiful island...each had been done with God in mind. I remember when I would drive blasting worship music, singing along with heartfelt love and observing the flowers and the ocean thinking, "God made those flowers for me! He caused me to see the way the light hits the water just for me! He reminds me His love is the same as the ocean. I can see the beginning but not the end." I mentioned before my insomniac nights...and how in the morning I would drive out rather frustrated and confused. And God was ready for me. With my camera in hand, I would snap and I would have a heart-to-heart conversation. Why couldn't I sleep last night? (Snap picture) Lord, I have all these doubts...why aren't You here? Then as I would look through my viewfinder, I could almost hear a whisper...I am God...Creator of all things. Don't you believe I care? I made this morning for you...I gave you breath...How could you doubt My love for you? I caused you to wake up and I protected you when you were stuck in the mud and about to back into that lake! How can you doubt My love?
There were multiple instances when God used what was in front of me to speak to my heart. And I cherish them so much! I don't think I could give up anything...but I was just wondering about that today.
 This is such a random post I know...

Okinawan flowers...What I used to see all the time. :)