Ahhh...Sunday. Beautiful Sunday. :) I love Sunday...especially since it is the day after we cleaned the house! That means I can relax without feeling guilty and enjoy a clean room...*content sigh*. Today we went to second service at church and ALL the songs that have been stuck in my head for weeks were playing! Surely that must mean something. It was so good especially since lately I've been feeling dry, spiritually. I don't know exactly what's up...well I have an idea...I started getting a little more involved at church and my tendency when I do that, is I neglect the Word. Studying,listening, and meditating on God's Word. I don't forget to read my Bible every day (Praise God for that! I've done it so long now, it feels wierd if I don't read it daily) but even then for someone like me (with the many anxieties and struggles I come up with) I CONSTANTLY need to be in the Word. 10-15 minutes a day doesn't it cut it for me. An I'm so used to go to service on Wednesday and Thursday nights, and Sunday mornings. But this month, due to unforeseen circumstances and I've stepped up in helping, I've missed Wednesday, Thursdays and one Sunday morning. Sheesh, I'm so wimpy I guess. My attitude changes in the worst way when I neglect God's Word. I NEED GOD'S WORD.
Even though I was busy, God has been gently prodding me. Reminding me to at least listen to a sermon via podcast, surround myself with worship music that sing praises to God...and I haven't been doing that. I guess that explains why random worship songs have been popping into my head, my mom has been playing sermons while we clean, and Scripture has been brought into memory. And you know what else? I had a dream of JESUS awhile ago (2-3 weeks ago). It was so cool!!!
The last time I dreamed of Him...well I've dreamed of Him maybe 3-4 times. The first time, when I was in elementary school, then twice when I was in high school (though in these two dreams, I felt like they were messages...Jesus was reminding me He was my Prince and not to go to the world for love and satisfaction. And the other one, I'm not sure...). But this past dream, I saw Him the way I first saw Him when I was in elementary. Hehe, its neat because in elementary school, I dreamed we were in Mexico (I had never been there when this dream took place) and we were picking fruit together. We had baskets and I believe we were picking cactus fruit. I was enjoying my time with Him and we were, I think, racing or something. All I remember was that I was having fun with Him. I never saw His face though. Same with this recent dream. He was talking to me, and I saw myself and Him standing together. Like I was just a viewer watching two people talking...but I saw Him and me.
He was telling me something and my heart was comforted and strengthened. It was like...a gentle river of peace flowing into my heart. And He was holding my LEFT hand. Why is this a big deal? Because I'm the kind of gal who holds a hand with my RIGHT. Unless I need to, I never hold hands with my left. And I never hold hands with anyone...except when I'm watching kids and we are crossing the road...or I just need to make sure they don't run off. Am I losing you? Basically, what I'm saying, I don't hold hands and when I do its with my right not my left. So for Him to hold my left hand means He was holding me with HIS RIGHT HAND. Do you understand what this means??? He is keeping His promise to me!!!
A few months after I graduated, I went through a battle of who I was in Christ. It was an intense,painful, brutal time of testing. And after an evening of weeping and being just plain distraught, I opened my Bible and came across this...
9 You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth,
And called from its farthest regions,
And said to you,
‘You are My servant,I have chosen you and have not cast you away:
10 Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’
Isaiah 41:9-10
Jesus was reminding me just by holding my hand, He was still there. It was an amazing dream because I felt so safe,peaceful and...there is no words to explain.
Despite this dry season (It's my own neglect and fault) Jesus is showing me He's still with me. I just need to get back on track...I know He's ready and waiting for me. :)
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