I re-read and re-read the sentence a few times. My heart sunk and I was so angry by the news, I got up from my laptop, and spoke to my twin about it. After venting with her a good while and being left alone, I finally came to the point of asking God, "WHY?"
Why does beautiful, sacred things fall apart?
Where was God when this happened?
Why didn't He stop it?
I wrestled with this question and I didn't have good, restful sleep.
The next morning, I woke up earlier than usual, grabbed a cup of coffee and slowly let reality sink in...I needed to pull myself together. I stared out the window, disbelieving, willing to deny what I read...and to run from the heartbreak.
Lord, You could have stopped it. Why weren't You there? This was Your Creation, why did You allow the enemy to destroy it? Thoughts like this scrambled around my head. And He reminded me...of something similiar in the Bible. When You read throughout the Gospels you see the followers of Jesus anticipating for Jesus to become King.
"2 And when John had heard in prison about the works of Christ, he sent two of[a] his disciples 3 and said to Him, “Are You the Coming One, or do we look for another?”
4 Jesus answered and said to them, “Go and tell John the things which you hear and see: 5 The blind see and the lame walk; the lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear; the dead are raised up and the poor have the gospel preached to them. 6 And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me.”
-Matthew 11:3
I had this pre-conceived notion that God is there to fix all problems. That He will get people out of dire situations and boom! Life is back to normal. I limited God. Can God restore? Yes. Can God heal? Of course. Can He take us out of trouble? He can.
So what happened?
I forgot when tough times come, sometimes God won't make the problem go away. We can pray about it and find ourselves instead in a tougher situation. In a situation that can leave anybody asking, "I'm praying! Why is it worse and not better? God, are You listening?" Yes...He is listening. The question is, are you? Are you clinging to promise when God says "I will never leave you or forsake you?" Or like me, have you come up with your version of it, and instead it is translated "I will never let you have problems?"
Just like John the Baptist, I fell into the trap, God can fix all my problems. But guess what? When problems came and He didn't fix them...well, I felt my faith, my misplaced faith, weaken. I didn't turn to His Word where the promise of God's presence resonated. I didn't turn to His Word that says,
"6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6
I was bringing all the prayer but there was no thanksgiving of heart and you can bet, I was ANXIOUS!!!
In reality, if I had looked on God's blessings on my life and been thankful, I would have seen His Hand.
Seeing His hand, would have resulted in peace...peace knowing He is there...
But I didn't.
I came up with how I believe God should work something only to have it backfire and cause me to wonder His presence that morning.
But He didn't let me wonder too long.
The verses I've shared, He brought them into rememberance as I pondered why some lives fall apart...but they don't fall apart. When one is a follower of Jesus, He is there carrying them in every situation. And isn't that more precious than a quick fix? Doesn't it bring one closer to Him? It did for me....
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