Don't ignore this.

Hey!

Yeah my post yesterday wasn't that extensive. SORRY. :) I was supposed to do Friday Foto but blehhh...I got lazy. I haven't been blogging alot lately but its just that I don't know what to post. I guess I'm in a rut, I suppose. Its been kind of rainy BUT today it was SUNNY. SUNNY I TELL YOU. (Yes, can you tell I'm loving the CAPS?) I had a good week...Well I could tell yall whats been on my heart lately hows that? No one reads this so sureeeeee...I'll go for it.

About a year ago...(this is kinda sad...) a girl I knew died. This was someone I knew back in Oki and when I found this out I couldn't believe it. But what made it worse was that during my whole high school I ignored people. I don't know where I got the idea to be hermit but thats what I did. However, this girl made the effort to talk to me. Like she was a bouncy kind of gal and she loved telling people hi. But whenever I saw her, I merely smiled, nodded and continued on my way. She liked to talk but I didn't like talking to NOBODY. Unless they were my friends. :( Ridiculous isn't it? Eventually she got the idea I wanted to be a hermit so she stopped talking to me. My mother rebuked me for it but I shrugged it off saying that she didn't know what she was talking about and it was okay. She however persisted and said I was to be a light! What kind of light was I for Christ if I continued to be a hermit? How could people know Jesus if I just walked past without saying a word? I just was like whatever and continued my hermit life. Until I heard the news. She had died brutally and I was stunned at the events that had brought about her death. I was sickened and I couldn't erase the story out of my head for over a year...sometimes it still gets me whenever I read the news and a similiar story pops up. What if I had been more open? What if I had talked to her more? Could the direction in her life had changed? :( Even worse, I felt responsible. I didn't know if she had known the Lord or not. One of my good friends brought me to the book of Esther. She reminded me of what should happen when someone remains silent in the book of Esther

 "For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for [such] a time as this?"

-Esther 4:14

Now here in the book of Esther, we see that Esther was battling whether to speak up or not to save the Jews. We know the story. She spoke up and saved the Jews. But even if she hadn't, help would come from somewhere else. I hadn't spoke up. I wasn't like Esther. But I believe that God was faithful and gave this girl a chance...I hoped with all my heart that she took that chance. I have this hope because much later after this girl's death, my sister talked to me. I don't know how we got around the topic but she mentioned the girl...she told me that the girl loved God. I was RELIEVED. I asked my sister how did she know? She told me someone she knew told her (this is another story...the same person was struggling with this girl's death too so they were talking to my sister about it...confused? Sorry I don't mention names) I found this to be so freeing...I sincerely hope that God brought someone into her life and she KNEW.
You know what this taught me? To speak.
To stop ignoring people. To stop treating them like they were annoying, to stop sighing and rolling my eyes when they came around. I say that because quite recently I was reminded to speak up again. There is someone in my life that I feel led to speak to. This time I will speak and I pray to be equipped by God. Why? Because they are about to hit the desert and I feel they were brought into my life for a reason. I pray that I don't fail again. So I ask that you, if you can spare a few seconds, pray for me. Because the spirtual attack has already heightened. Distractions, little annoying pricks here and there from the enemy himself, have turned my eyes momentarily. Until today I hadn't realized what was going on. But I see it now. So please pray that I can be a light and to God be the glory. I am NOBODY. Only God deserves the glory and I do this for Him. Thanks yall.