Update, update, update.

Summer is right around the corner, and we have so much to do right before it shows up! I'm excited and I sincerely can't wait.
Aside from the emotional ruts I've been in (I hate that I let things get to me so easily) I'm well...the Lord has been faithful in more ways than one. He is the only One who gets me back on track. During my times of asking "why" and saying "look what they did to me" He's shown me things. Shown me I can trust in Him...Why is it so hard to trust Him? I make life so difficult when I withhold my trust from Him. Planning and falling face-plant on the ground because I did things my way. And when it comes to people who've put me down or tried to start fights I throw quite the pity party. Until He reminds me, hey, I pretty much do the same thing and so they need prayer because I KNOW I need it when I act up. 
In my last post, I mentioned I was learning the will of God. It's so neat how that is going about...I had been stuck on 1 John 5:14-15.

"¹⁴ Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.¹⁵ And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him."

When I first read that my first reaction was, "Well I can ask this and see what is His will! Who knows what He might do?"
I've been stuck on this verse for several days. And every time I've prayed...I shared the desires of my heart. Because after all, He gives us the desires of our heart, right?
Not necessarily. 
A lightbulb went off in one evening of trying to figure out why I didn't leave this verse and what was His will for me after all...and another verse came up. 

"He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?" -Micah 6:8

The will of God is found in His Word.

Duh.

I had been coming in with my wants and so called "needs" and asking for the will of God to be done...when I hadn't even answered His call for my life. I am so prideful enough to ignore HIS request and come up with my own wishes and solutions.

WHAT AM I DOING???

I wasn't doing what He had already shown me...I was questioning it and doing something else in the meantime.

The reason my prayers weren't 'answered' (they were answered in Micah 6:8. Inserted quotes just mean they weren't answered in my way, which is totally fine. He was reminding where to find His will. God knows best.) was because they weren't in His will. 

I wasn't just. I was selfish and unfair.

I wasn't merciful. I was unforgiving and upset. (When you do deep studying of the Word, you learn stuff about yourself you didn't know was there!)

and I KNOW I wasn't walking humbly. (Like I said...prideful enough to come up with my own ideas...and not listening to the Lord.) 

Then someone shared this verse on Facebook...

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

And lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths."-Proverbs 3:5-6

To do His will I needed to read His Word to know His will, and with it comes the trust I know what He is doing...He will direct me in the way I should go. 

So yep...lots of stuff in my brain...hope I didn't confuse you. 

Congratulations if I didn't lose you halfway...